i'm such a miserable individual

[TStarGermany]

i know this story is a bit "raw" but i must tell it..

yesterday at a buddy's home i went to the toilet..in the hall his mom was cutting one of her friend's hair, and i could hear them talking because the toilet room'S door didnt really close well....i felt a huge pressure to fart when i wanted to **** and so i tried to "cover" this fart with a small cough so both of them couldnt hear the fart....
worst idea ever, the toilet bowl worked as bass reflex chassis and my cough was inaudible (too quiet to be heard) and the fart was a huge PATOOONGGG explosion...after that there were 10 seconds of silence when his mom and her friend didnt say a word^^

i learned something: NEVER try to cough when you must hold back a fart, this fart will come out with 10 times the pressure as normal. needless to say it took me about 2mins to clean the toilet bowl

[funkdaddysmack]

Hahaha, that's the best story I've ever heard.

Stuff like that happens to me every day, except I'm one of the spectators. My office is right outside the bathrooms on our 2nd floor. Let's just say the women's bathroom isn't very well soundproofed.

[Vash00es]

you have to squeeze your ass cheeks together when you fart, so they dont vibrate and make a noise, then its pretty quiet

[P-rotege]

ROFL, funny stuff, can't help ya though, I always enjoy a good fart

[*PL*]

Or pull them apart the most you can so it only make some kind of FFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sound

[TStarGermany]

yea, pulling the lobes apart usually gives a slight "fooooshhhh" sound.
if you squeeze your cheeks together, you MUST NOT cough because your muscles will relax and a lot of pressure will go through the valve...

[Vash00es]

Or pull them apart the most you can so it only make some kind of FFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sound

oh yeah, more of the "free flowing exhaust" sound

[loganss]

Thanx I needed this thread. That's too funny.

[D323]

hahhaaha good stuff.

[prote_boy]

man its a natural thing you should take pride in something of that caliber! i would have come out the bathroom all smiles

[goldstar]

This thread points up the importance of calibrating your butt before sensing the butt HP (BuHP) of your latest mod. The SAE has determined that both anal temperature and PRESSURE can affect your perception of BuHP so accurate readings of these two parameters are required in order to calibrate your butt readings for a more accurate outcome. This is why the amount of pressure of a lurking fart (in inches of Hg or kPa, above atmospheric) must be predetermined so that its effect on BuHP can be accounted for and corrected. The best way to accomplish this is with a Dwyer Magnehelic Pressure Differential gauge equipped with an anal insertion probe (don't forget the K-Y jelly).

Given the explosive power and pressure of Tstar's fart, it's easy to imagine the potential for error that such a fart could induce if emitted during the taking of a BuHP reading. This proceedure is absolutely necessary if we want to have confidence in the accuracy and repeatability of our BuHP figures.

I know this will find a receptive audience given the obvious interest in scatology that so many of you exhibit.



Happy Motoring!

[Gro Harlem]

[P-rotege]

Perhaps we have delved too deep into the realm of flatulence...

[91ProtegeLX]

LMAO....nice story.