girlfriends..

[Franko]

Ive been with my girl for 4 and a half years, I am her first boyfriend and she is my first serious girlfriend, and although there is the occasional fight here and there we always made up in the end and everthing was good. Recently (December 29th) her sister got married and my girlfriend wanted me to go. Ive asked her to go to stuff that my family had going on and she didnt want to go so I think nothing of it, If you dont feel comfortable going then thats that. Anyways, she wanted me to go to this wedding and I really didnt feel comfotable going so I said that I didnt want to go. Anyways, the wedding came and went and everything seemed fine. I told her I was sorry and that I didnt make it and I did feel really bad but I just didnt feel like going.
She was basically living at my house for a long time before christmas.. She stayed over every night and it was great. I love having her there with me. Now since christmas she has only stayed over twice and on new years she didnt come out to be with me or anything, I found that very strange and I was really upset about it since we always spend new years togethor. Then it happens.. On tuesday afternoon past, she got off early from school and came over to my house. I was really happy to see her since its been so long, then she went and got her hair dryer and guitar and stuff. Stuff thats always been at my place and suddenly shes just collecting it all up. I started asking her why its been so long since she has come out and I really missed her. She was being really weird about it and I kept asking her what was wrong. This is what she said to me "Do you ever think about what other people would be like?".. Just then, im pretty sure my heart stopped for about 20 seconds. She apparently met some of her sisters friends at the wedding and they seemed "fun". So I guess this means that she wants to be out partying with other people since shes so 'young' and wants to be out having 'fun'. (laymans terms.. she wants to be a slut) She said that I didnt go do enough stuff or whatever. I guess that means that I am too boring. I tell you what though.. No ****ing way is there going to be someone else who loves her as much as I do. and if she goes and gets with another guy then there is no goddamn way that I am getting back with her.. shell be damaged goods then and I cant handle the idea of another guy having his hands on her.
I cant believe how upset I am guys... like I have never in my entire life ever been this upset before. Is the feeling of wanting to kill yourself a normal one? Because I am feeling that way too much.
Life is just a big pile of ****.. The person I love the most in the whole world dosen't love me back.. What is the ****ing point of this all anyway? I tell you.. if there is a god, hes got some wacky sense of humor..

Where the hell do I go from here?

[1st Gen]

Just hold on. Time is on the way. When you get enough of it, you'll feel better, promise.

You gotta be on the look out for a little clarity and perspective though. My opinion, it’s better you both find out now than after your married. How do you feel about swinging anyway? She might be on to something.

[loganss]

Time can slowly mend your broken heart. Yeah after a 4+ year relationship breaking up is tough and sometimes seems unbearable but just gotta keep your head up n push through the heartbreak.

Try n go out n have some fun. Go do those things that were difficult for you to do w/ your g/f there.

Just curious how old r u?

[kevin]

Theres not much constructive advice anyone could give you at this point. Being vengeful or vindictive, however, only serves a short-term purpose. You will feel even WORSE a few hours afterwards. So when your head is near the point of explosion and the tip of frustration.. swallow your words for something a little kinder.
Kevin

[McCorkle]

Eh, women come and go. You'll find someone else who will make you forget this girl's name.

[Identity_X]

whatever happens, make sure you learn as much as you can from this experience. Good luck!

[93tege]

dood dont even beat yourself up over it the same **** happened to me a while back but i actually saw my ex with another dood. atleast she told you she wanted to "see other people" she told me absolutely nothing i had to figure everything out on my own so after i saw that **** i was like **** this and **** her so i just went out with a few friends got hammered and acctually met someone else and i can definetly say that my new girl is a much better find than my old one although i cant compare with a 4+ year relationship but i can definetly say that if you love someone and care for them the time you spend together can feel like forever.

[Sunset]

Hi,
I was in a similar situation a few years back, now that you know what she's like DON'T take her back. It hurts but move on it'll be better for you. Be constructive with your time, hang out with your boys, go out with a few girls (no you don't have to bang em) get your self to feel ALIVE again. Don't become a hermit.

That's the first thing I learned from that situation, the second thing was that women are like buses you may miss one but another one will show up in fifteen minutes

I'm sorry this happened to you but thank god it happened now before marriage and/or children then you'd really be in the ****ter.

[whistler]

dont worry, time will heal all. how much time is the question?

I was dating a girl and then she broke up with me last summer. She started dating someone else and never even told me about it. When I saw them on campus, I freaked out. and been in that state ever since. Its hard, but we have to come thru sometime.

[bruce95fmla]

After a while you tend to get used to the fact that women come and go. They are never permenant, and neither are relationships. She is a young girl, and more than likely just realized that she has her whole life ahead of her, and that there are a lot of people out there, many different options. The best thing you can do is let her go, cause you can't make a person stay when they don't want to stay. Sooner or later she will realize that she made a mistake, she won't right now, because she is caught up in the moment/hype. You just have to be the man and realize that you have to move on. It's extremely important for you to move on, because when you meet the next female you want to be 100% ready to entice her. You don't want to be dragging at the heals. So move on, make every day from today forth your commitment to moving forward and finding a better person to love ... and that person should be yourself. You should never love anyone in the world more than yourself. Aside from your children..............................

Later.

[whistler]

Well said, Bruce!

[Enigmaz Powa]

Damn kid, das hard. Four years and she just drops it like that? Das odd and makes me wonder. How "tight" was your relationship? Could there have been things that you didn't pick up on?

Don't YOU EVER think of suicide as an option. Thats just plain stupid.

The Advice - Move on, Man up and expand yourself.

Move on- The guys are right. Females come and go in basically intervals of 15. All it takes is confidence. If u're confident in yourself, u'll get another female in no time. I understand that emotions render us in a state of insanity, but, u have to be logical. If after 4 years she 'ups and leaves' for NO REASON. Then its not worth the head ache. MOVE ON. *side note* The guy she met prolly put the mean head-crack on her. So she's now open* < this is an important point.

Man up- Control your emotions. Don't be coochie whipped. Dating is like window shopping. U're just looking. U're not buying (getting married).

Expand yourself - Don't cut her off. Don't become a dyck. Keep her as a fren and who knows, she just might want to bang you now and then (which isn't a bad thing unless u're gonna catch Feelings). Ask her if she wants and open relationship or something of the sort. My saying is..don't throw away coochie or female connections. I'm still friends with my x's. Anyway.. get porno and enjoy yourself.....and make sure ya boys rip on you for a lil bit.

[jnorion]

Best thing that you can do is the same thing she did... realize that you are young and your whole life is ahead of you. It sucks, believe me I know, but it will pass with time. Good luck.

[whistler]

its hard to becomes just friends when you've shared so much with her... its just becomes difficult. atleast thats what I think. you start to miss things.

yes, i am a wuss!

[Franko]

Thanks guys..
I am completely and utterly emotionally drained.
I dont think I could be friends with her if she is with another guy. Knowing another guy has his hands on MY woman makes me so angry that I cant even speak.
I was 18 and she was 16 when we started going out and now Im 23 and shes 21. I was perfectly happy with things and I enjoy being with her.
Last night I was SO SO SO upset that I was a menace to society when driving my little winter beater suzuki sidekick.. I had no fear of death driving that thing, I cant believe I even made it home.
Its not fair of her to do it the way she did.. If there was something I was doing to make her upset she should have told me so I could fix it and not keep stuff inside for years and just let it all out on me in one day. She is being totally unresonable with this.
Youre right bruce.. she will realize how good she had it with me. I treated her like gold and now shes gonna do this to me.
Someone told me jealousy is one of the biggest things.. Like if she hears that Im out with another girl or something shell probally come running back wanting to get back togethor. I know that will happen if I get another girl and thats just going to cause all kinds of problems.

I wouldent think of suicide, I have way too much invested in my car.
God I wish it was summer so I could drive it. Nothing helps sadness like boost and a great stereo..

Ohh guys, thanks for your responses.. Im feeling really really sad right now and usually if I feel upset its her that I would talk to. Now I have no one.. I hope it works out, otherwise I dont know what I will do.