So it was Friday afternoon on the QEW in Stoney Creek Ontario.
I was just relaxing with the cruise control set at about 110 in the far right lane. Minding my own business listening to some Bob Marley.
I'm passing an on ramp and the merge lane was coming to an end. There was this civic riding my ass in the right lane for a few KM now, even though he could have passed me pretty much at will. Well, he guns it, gets into the merge lane (which you may recall was ending) and starts to pass me. The lane ends and he's driving on the paved shoulder. Gets in front of me and cuts in my lane. Euro blue hazards come on because he clearly "won".
Now here's that same story from the ricers point of view:
I was just cruisin minding my own bidness in my civic si non-bubbleback thats hooked up. I got the windows
Tinted, chromed out everything, even my five star hubcaps. **** they almost look like rims when I'm driving. Well, I see this guy in a Mazda Protege, he obviously wanted to race since he was cruising in the right lane. So I get up behind him and ride his ass for a little while trying to intimidate him. He was obviously scared because he just kept at the same speed and didn't pay any attention to me. Well there's this merge lane coming up so nows my chance to show him who really owns the road. I gotta tell ya though first, my hooptie ain't nothing to scoff at. Lemme throw out some freestyle rhymes to show you just how tyt3 my **** is:
I come from da hood where we race in da skr33t
my ride be so fly it ain't never been beat
I got da Type-R Stickaz an da GTR Badge
That be the **** that make my ride so fast.
15 inch subs and I be rollin' on Dubs
I'm a pimp wit da bitches at all the clubs
Electric supa'charger to fire up da boost
fire up that **** and let my ride on da' loose
Big ****in wing be addin to da bling
I'm a 16 year old dumbass
ain't got no commonsense.
one time when i was runnin from da cops,
i got caught up on a fence
I got past da fence,
but theres no where to hide,
I looked up the street and I saw my phat ride
Hopped in the hooptie and fire up da mill
Goddam that mutha****in **** sounded ILL
Almost squeal da tires as I hit the ****in gas
but them mutha****in cops dey still on ma' ass
speeding through traffic, i weave in and out
almost ****in crash dat ****, but M4D SK1LLZ pull me out
lose the ****in cops, from ma homies come da props
cause my ride is so phat and my skillz be ALL DAT!
Now you can see not just how bad assed my ride be, but also how mad my skizzillz is.
So I downshift from fifth to second and let that vtec scream, He obviously didn't know that I got a ractive air filter, which adds at least 35 horsepower. Yeah, I knew for sure I had him in the top end. I got such mad power out of that, I had to get a bigger wing to hold me down at speed. I do have some clearance issues going under bridges though.
So I get into the right lane and hit it, slowly pull on him until the lane ended, but I kept going on the shoulder, BAAAAAMMMM!!!!! I'm finally ahead of him so I cut in and throw on all 37of my euro blue hazards to show him who got the win.
Infact I think I blinded him because I saw him reaching for his ZZ-Top raybans.
Ah yeah, chalk another `one up for the civic!!
I was just relaxing with the cruise control set at about 110 in the far right lane. Minding my own business listening to some Bob Marley.
I'm passing an on ramp and the merge lane was coming to an end. There was this civic riding my ass in the right lane for a few KM now, even though he could have passed me pretty much at will. Well, he guns it, gets into the merge lane (which you may recall was ending) and starts to pass me. The lane ends and he's driving on the paved shoulder. Gets in front of me and cuts in my lane. Euro blue hazards come on because he clearly "won".
Now here's that same story from the ricers point of view:
I was just cruisin minding my own bidness in my civic si non-bubbleback thats hooked up. I got the windows
Tinted, chromed out everything, even my five star hubcaps. **** they almost look like rims when I'm driving. Well, I see this guy in a Mazda Protege, he obviously wanted to race since he was cruising in the right lane. So I get up behind him and ride his ass for a little while trying to intimidate him. He was obviously scared because he just kept at the same speed and didn't pay any attention to me. Well there's this merge lane coming up so nows my chance to show him who really owns the road. I gotta tell ya though first, my hooptie ain't nothing to scoff at. Lemme throw out some freestyle rhymes to show you just how tyt3 my **** is:
I come from da hood where we race in da skr33t
my ride be so fly it ain't never been beat
I got da Type-R Stickaz an da GTR Badge
That be the **** that make my ride so fast.
15 inch subs and I be rollin' on Dubs
I'm a pimp wit da bitches at all the clubs
Electric supa'charger to fire up da boost
fire up that **** and let my ride on da' loose
Big ****in wing be addin to da bling
I'm a 16 year old dumbass
ain't got no commonsense.
one time when i was runnin from da cops,
i got caught up on a fence
I got past da fence,
but theres no where to hide,
I looked up the street and I saw my phat ride
Hopped in the hooptie and fire up da mill
Goddam that mutha****in **** sounded ILL
Almost squeal da tires as I hit the ****in gas
but them mutha****in cops dey still on ma' ass
speeding through traffic, i weave in and out
almost ****in crash dat ****, but M4D SK1LLZ pull me out
lose the ****in cops, from ma homies come da props
cause my ride is so phat and my skillz be ALL DAT!
Now you can see not just how bad assed my ride be, but also how mad my skizzillz is.
So I downshift from fifth to second and let that vtec scream, He obviously didn't know that I got a ractive air filter, which adds at least 35 horsepower. Yeah, I knew for sure I had him in the top end. I got such mad power out of that, I had to get a bigger wing to hold me down at speed. I do have some clearance issues going under bridges though.
So I get into the right lane and hit it, slowly pull on him until the lane ended, but I kept going on the shoulder, BAAAAAMMMM!!!!! I'm finally ahead of him so I cut in and throw on all 37of my euro blue hazards to show him who got the win.
Infact I think I blinded him because I saw him reaching for his ZZ-Top raybans.
Ah yeah, chalk another `one up for the civic!!
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